I Got You Babe

“I’m comin’ babe!!” This was what Dad yelled to Mom from the other side of the bathroom door. Mom was worried that Dad had fallen and threatened to call 911 if he didn’t emerge soon. After a coy flirtation with AFib and a lurking concern about Covid (he’s negative), Dad got home from the hospital this week victorious but slightly deconditioned after a few days in bed. A walker was mandated for home and it sure seemed like he was going to be needing that for quite some time. Simple walks and trips to the bathroom were now much more laborious than they once were. 

Flash forward 24 hours to me chasing after him into the backyard. With just a black and white gingham cane by his side, Dad was setting off to do his daily climb into the woods and back again. “You can’t do any climbing just yet, Dad!” I yelled. “NO WOODS!” He looked at me like I was crazy, shrugged, and did an about face away from the woods. “Nurse Ratched says no. Sorry.” I explained. “Ok, alright.” he said. Then what did he do? Started taking off in the other direction! “WHERE are you GOING?” I asked. “I’m going to sit over there!” he yelled back at me, pointing at the bench in the side yard. “OK but let me get the pulse ox thingy!”

With the pulse ox thingy in hand and assured of a heart rate under 100 and blood oxygen over 95, I reminded Dad that he just got out of the hospital yesterday. “I know it” was his only response. The man, and his wife, are both tanks. For the love of God, they stopped for coffee and a coffee roll on the way to the hospital “because you never know when you’re going to eat again when you go into the ER!” The hospital took the coffee away. Caffeine and AFib apparently don’t mix. And, no, I was not with them when they went to the hospital. I was at home preventing the house from exploding after I couldn’t manage to turn off a defunct burner on the stove. Lordy, lordy. The stories I don’t tell. All you need to know is crisis averted, house not blown up, need new rangetop. Don’t worry, 3 out of the 4 burners are still functioning and the gas company could not believe that this unit was more than 30 years old. “Are you sure?” he asked. Oh, yes, I’m sure. In fact, we most likely still have the original paperwork to prove it.

I know that Mom and Dad would say that I am, at times, “overly cautious” and “worry too much.” They’re right. I’ve been worrying since birth. So, I have learned that when you live with two determined 80+-year-olds and three headstrong children, throwing caution to the wind is part hazard but more necessity. Perseverating on all that could go wrong in my household is not only a buzzkill, it’s not living. Each day, I make a conscious choice to accept this imperfect reality with an uncertain future. When I drove to work the other day, a day that was aptly described as “painfully beautiful”, I lost my breath for a minute and wanted to just stop and hug a gorgeous Maple tree on the side of the road. With all that went on this week with Dad, this autumnal blaze of glory offers up its yearly life lesson and I force myself to take heed. Growing older alongside elders is also “painfully beautiful” and I have the privilege and honor of embracing that. Hearing Dad call Mom “babe” and later watching Mom help Dad remove sticky electrodes from his hairy chest? Priceless and precious. Life is not like a box of chocolates, it’s like a maple tree in October. So as my new idol Moira Rose says “It’s times like these that remind one of the fact that we’re all still alive. Don’t you dare take that for granted…..So, drink up! Go outside! And live your lives!” Looks like an unexpectedly beautiful day today here. I think I’m going to get some fresh air, hug a Maple, and drink some mulled cider and spiced rum.