Live Fully, Love Deeply

Pine, ocean, and juniper meld together in the air here, a place not too far but not too close. A seagull is feasting on something he found about a hundred yards from shore. The house of the woman that was attacked and killed by a shark during her morning swim is to my left, the house of the man who witnessed that horror is to my right, Tom’s house. Tom passed this year, he was only 71. His Wedgwood blue boat rocks alone in the middle of Mackerel cove. Does it miss him?

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Bailey Island is the jewel of Maine, perhaps the entire country. Somehow life slows down there and I finally understand why the state slogan is “The way life should be.” Anyone who has been here and sipped on a rum punch while sitting on the deck at Cook’s as a man strums his guitar and sings “Sundown” by Gordon Lightfoot AT sundown would agree. It is a place that must be felt to be believed; magic happens here. I imagine Tom, with his cove-side log house, would agree too.

These past couple of years have been hard ones, particularly for the elders of this family. So many of those whose spirits molded my own have passed, most recently Uncle Phil. That combined with these bookends of untimely endings here in Maine gave me pause this morning. If I were to offer a word for it it would be maudlin which, to me, means a feeling of intense nostalgia mixed with sadness for what has gone and not so much foolish sentimentality that the Oxford dictionary claims. Sentimentality is NOT foolish. Too much has gone this year and we have all had a hard time catching our breath. I am watching the men and women who raised me slowly disappear from sight. This is middle age.

Today we have arrived back home to Massachusetts and, as Thomas says, one of the greatest things about going away is that you get to come back home and remember why you like the way you live. Maybe it’s your bed, your favorite chair, a familiar smell, shampoo that doesn’t flatten your hair, or conditioner that actually works. Whatever it is, the comforts of home are a welcome embrace. For years, I have sought adventure and escape through travel. Through all those adventures, one constant has remained true—family and friends. We’re dwindling and growing, arguing and loving the whole way. Life is anything but predictable but we can rely on that one constant that will ironically forever be in flux. Death will come for all of us in its own way, life comes only if we dare. I have read three obituaries over this past year that brought me to tears and reminded me to dare to live fully and love deeply: Dad’s, Tom’s, and now Uncle Phil’s. Tom’s boat dipped quietly into the cove waters on our last day yesterday, there was a slight chill in the air that reminded me of fall-eek. Today I see my kids for the first time in over a week. We will all hug, laugh, argue, have issues, laugh, and soon fall comfortably back into our routines. Live fully, love deeply I will try to teach them as my predecessors taught me. August is upon us, time to live it up.

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