Of Mice, Hamsters, and Crazy Women

There’s a dead mouse in my basement. I can smell it but can’t find it which I think is the perfect way to drive a perfectly normal person insane. On the one hand, you want the smell to go away; on the other hand you search whilst bracing yourself for the horrific discovery. My brother told me that maybe I could just wait until the smell dissipates but where’s the fun in that? This is why I’m writing right now—I needed a break from the set of Of Mice and Women.

The past week has been a return to the hectic with a resurgence of my Idiopathic Angioedema and Urticaria (click here for fun visuals). I tried to see if I could live without a monthly injection of Xolair; the ginormous hives on my butt yesterday and my swollen face the other day told me I can’t. For a hot second I considered trying to control it with diet again like all the other times but I decided that now is not the time to eliminate carbs. To understand why I’m a little skeptical about taking Xolair, this is how the FDA describes it: “Xolair is a recombinant DNA-derived humanized IgG1κ monoclonal antibody that selectively binds to human immunoglobulin E (IgE). The antibody has a molecular weight of approximately 149 kilodaltons. Xolair is produced by a Chinese hamster ovary cell suspension culture in a nutrient medium containing the antibiotic gentamicin. Gentamicin is not detectable in the final product.” This description only leads me to think that I am somewhat of a hamster mutant after I take it; maybe I’ll become a new superhero capable of running on a wheel for days on end. Better yet, maybe it will give me the ability to find that dead mouse. One can only hope.

While I wait to restart my magical hamster ovary drug, my family has been slowly but surely moving things around upstairs to allow for all the kids to have their own bedrooms. With Mom and Dad’s room moved downstairs, there is a “free” bedroom upstairs now. I have moved my mattress in to the master bedroom to make room for J.D.’s mattress (donated by one of my besties) to slide onto my old bed. What that means is that my mattress is now on the floor and I am sharing that room with the Infant of Prague which has been a constant presence in Mom and Dad’s room since they were married in 1959. I’ve decided to keep him there as I know he has seasonal outfits and I think that could be a source of fun for me. My sleeping with one eye open will surely only last a couple more weeks…

With all this moving around, I feel uneasy and unsettled. My bed frame should arrive next week and I have managed to move some of my clothes in to the room. My boys are ecstatic to be on the precipice of not sharing a space for the first time in 12 years. I’m happy for them but this all feels weird for me. I’m inclined to move furniture in my new bedroom but I don’t think any of it has moved for 50 years; it feels sacrilegious to upset the order in there. Nevertheless, the changes will continue to happen as there’s really no stopping this train now. Before I know it, I’ll be back to taking my hamster medicine, finding dead mice in my basement, and sleeping soundly in my new Amazon bed with the Infant of Prague by my side. Change, it seems, is not only inevitable but welcomed once embraced. Now, back to trying to find that dead mouse…

Update below. Yes, that is the tail. Yes, I think it’s a rat. Yes, I called Orkin. I had to dig deep into my darkened soul to find the courage to pick this up.